TESTIMONIALS
What the Clients Say
*Each testimonial has permission to share. The names have been withheld out of respect for the individuals.
Long-term Commitment to Healing
My trauma was sexual abuse, which caused me to defend myself. It happened at a very young age and was long-term. I’m now able to not blame myself.
I found a supernatural healing in an instant. I wish I could remember the exact phrase or words Jim used during the process, but at one point, he asked, “What if it wasn’t?”
I had an awakening, like wow. This really was not my fault. There was a radical level of acceptance of, like, yes, what happened was awful, and that’s true. But I’ve accepted it. When your back is against the wall, you do things you did when you had no other option.
I was a raging, raging addict. I spent $3 million on drugs and alcohol ... opiates, benzos, and alcohol every day for 15 years. I had an intervention; my business partner told me I had to go to treatment, or I was out.
While in treatment I had a roommate that looked at me and said, “You should talk to this Jim guy. He’s really weird.” I was in there and had to decide to do it—for some reason I decided to do it. It was a one-session deal.
That day—that instant—was like the first day of my life. I had gone through hell, deep, and it happened for me instantly. Jim just held that space with no judgment. It concerned people (the instantaneous part). My therapist asked, “What happened? You’re not angry anymore.”
My therapist had just been asking questions, and I was not in a place for questions. God used Jim to guide me, to be that light, a conduit. Everything that led me to that moment was sovereign, divine intervention. We did breathing and grounding work. I remember Jim’s dog, Luna, sat next to me and her breath and my breath being in alignment. On the other side I just felt peace. I didn’t expect to happen what happened in that room.
Before I healed my trauma, I couldn’t be around children — not at all, and now, every Monday night, I take my daughter and three neighbor kids to the trampoline. I am “uncle” to every kid around.
I couldn’t function around kids and now I have the most peace. I used to hang out with my nephew, but it was uncomfortable and now I’m literally his best friend.
I got into AA, continued therapy, and years later, decided to Google Jim — and hired him again. Now, he coaches my entire staff.
It’s scary to deal with this stuff, but facing that fear is what saved my life. I was willing to do the scary thing. Finding someone you trust and who doesn’t look at you differently after you say something is really important.
You can’t do it alone. There is hope. It’s not always easy, but there is a way out and a solution to how you’re feeling.
~ Name withheld
Choosing to Care Again
You know how when you go to the emergency room and ask you to rate your pain on a scale of one to 10? Well, my eight might be your four. The same could be said for trauma.
Jim helped me heal from trauma in childhood. When I was doing my best, but my best wasn’t good enough, I’d give up and say, “Why bother?”
My family built a carport into a family room when I was 11 years old. The basement became a junk room. Dad asked me to make a messy room less messy. So, I took everything out of the room.
Dad envisioned a 15-minute job, and he absolutely lost his shit. He looked at my mom and said, “There’s something wrong with this kid. We need to send him to an orphanage.”
I said to myself, “Fuck it. Why bother?”
Dad does not even remember. It was a moment for me. What I said to myself is very common for everybody. We tend to personalize it and think we’re the only one. We’re all going through the same shit.
Dad is a pastor; I’ve wandered far from his path. Daoism has caught me by the balls. I was taught the Bible is right and you are wrong. Daoism has taught me whatever you think, you’re right and whatever you think, you’re wrong.
Not to wax biblical, but 1 Corinthians Chapter 13, Verse 11 (King James version) is: “When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.”
In healing trauma, when I can see through someone else’s eyes, I see we’re all doing the very best we can.
I arrived in Utah in 2011 to go to drug rehab after a horrible relapse that followed eight years of trying to make a 12-step program work — and being sober. That’s where I met Jim. We did breathwork sessions at the treatment center. I was thinking, “What is this man doing? This is just insanity.”
The feedback from other patients was amazing, so the second week I decided to open my mind. The experience I had was literally life-changing. I was transfixed in time and space.
Like the ghost of Christmas past, I was able to see a scene from a suicide attempt in a totally different way. It was so real, so empowering. I was lying in bed at 4 in the morning with the song “Silent Lucidity” playing in my head like a CD on repeat. During breathwork, I was being HELD, and the song was being sung to me. It was so liberating. In that moment, I felt whole. I realized I wasn’t alone. It was part of a bigger process I didn’t see.
Now, when I feel that feeling of not being good enough, I can just feel the feeling; it’s not real. I’m not a child. My job is to do the best I can. Sometimes I win. Sometimes I lose. I just continue to be my best.
Repetition aids learning. I didn’t do it once; I continued to relearn. I’d love to say I have this thing licked, but I don’t The greatest teachers just remind us of lessons we have learned.
Jim didn’t care that I thought he was the strangest person I’d ever met. My gratitude and appreciation for him is that he has the courage to be seen. He’s always been very accepting of me wherever I’ve been and in that he’s been very helpful allowing the process without guardrails. He does not say, “This is the process” or “This is how the process should work.”
He's no longer the strangest; he’s a very sacred soul. I now explore parts of me I’ve failed to understand — to see things I otherwise didn’t know existed.
You are not alone. There are plenty of people consumed with circumstances and self. It’s easy to show up, suck it up, put on a happy face, but that’s not what the world needs. Transparency and authenticity are what we need.
~ Name withheld
You’re Not The Only One
Jim helped me heal trauma by helping me design a life that was not fearful of disappointing my parents.
So much of what I did was because I was afraid of disappointing them. It limited me. I picked and chose battles I knew I could win instead of ones that would make me grow as a person.
It was a little harder for me to grasp, but it is OK to have trauma. I didn’t think it was normal — especially for males — to have trauma.
My boss recommended Jim to me from a leadership perspective, but I learned a lot about being honest, transparent and open about life and the direction it’s headed. The process was a little bit difficult, but Jim helped me realize we all have trauma. The more we talk about it, the quicker we recover.
Journaling was a big part of the process for me. The bigger one was interviewing my peers about my strengths and weaknesses. It helped me evolve and take the next step. People were open and excited and super transparent — some of it I didn’t want to hear, but it helped me process and keep growing.
I started looking at negative situations in a positive way. When you do that, you’re going to become a better person.
I definitely feel more comfortable with my life and how it is going after working with Jim. Before then, I only wanted to see and show the positives. After we completed the process, I started to embrace wins and losses and am more comfortable in my own skin.
I’ve had more open and transparent conversations with people — especially my parents. Everyone is human and not perfect, and that’s the way I want to present myself, both personally and professionally.
I’m now more available to people working under me at work. They see me as upper management, and as a friend they can come to. It has affected morale in a positive way.
The results have lasted because I’m implementing what I learned in daily life; it’s been like building a puzzle. It’s a constant battle to keep remembering those things. This has been the first time for me to have to talk to somebody in a counseling, coaching or therapy setting, so I feel so lucky to have met Jim.
You’re not the only one feeling the way you do. It’s better to face it forward and figure out your why. You’re not the only one. There are people out there with professional experience to help, so reach out for support!
~ Name withheld
Taking Leadership to the Next Level
Jim helped me heal childhood trauma and trust issues and face challenges with grace, and not victimizing myself.
My lack of trust in people made me think people had bad intentions or were out to screw me over. Jim taught me to take emotions out of things I can’t control and that my actions can’t control other people — even if they have bad intentions or are out to get me.
I was going through a lot with people at work and had a breakdown with my boss. Issues had been going on for years; I was having the same issues at work for three years. I finally broke down to my boss. I’m really good at my job and successful. Everybody wants to be me. It’s extremely exhausting being me in a male-dominated industry.
My boss put me and a coworker with Jim to work out our issues. It’s frustrating that it took me crying to my boss to have that happen.
Initially, Jim had us talk about our story and what’s deep in our hearts and figure out our issues. We met weekly by ourselves with him and then together once each month. I thought we’d figure out issues together, but we worked on ourselves.
I focused on my leadership issues, not playing the blame game or being focused on the other person. It took time for me to get into it because I just wanted to talk shit about the other person.
When I was looking at the root causes of my issues, I blamed my parents. There’s no bad experience to share, I felt like they were lying to me — but I now can see it happened when I couldn’t process my emotions.
It’s valuable to realize parents are doing the best they can and not hold them responsible and realize we’re all doing the best we can. One of the biggest things for me is the grace part … giving people grace and knowing they are doing the best they can in that moment.
It is preached in church, but it’s not until you’re on a healing journey that you fully understand grace and what it is. I’m glad I can see that side of it. I feel more at peace, have more understanding and grace now.
How we are wired — especially in a male-dominated industry, how men are wired vs. how women are wired was valuable to learn. It’s where my coworker and I went wrong.
Instead of being ashamed or feeling guilty about how I emasculated men at work or how I had been “done wrong,” I’m now looking at all of my relationships … even with friends and family. I’m excited to keep working on myself and for opportunities and situations to use what I’ve learned.
I go about my day in more peace. I do not let situations completely cripple me. I continue to be a good leader and person and not tally everything on what someone has done wrong. I truly go on and do not let other people’s actions cripple me.
I genuinely want to continue to better myself and I want to improve myself. Jim is patient. He doesn’t give up. He doesn’t allow that. Continuing to work on myself has worked a lot. People can go to business coaches and therapists; you have to find someone that clicks for you. Counselors can be very biased. Jim’s style is patience and guidance.
At first, I thought it was busy work. No. Now I understand it. Healing trauma is possible, but it has to be intentional. It has to be a priority. You can just scribble out some homework. I love that word: intentional. You have to dive deep and know there are going to be some bad weeks. You have to go through it to go to the next level. Keep plugging through and be as intentional as possible.
~ Name withheld
You Can Heal
Jim guided me to heal trauma from sexual abuse, and I’m now capable of deeper emotional connection and intimacy. I feel safe in my own body. I am no longer held captive by the trauma. I feel free mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually.
I married a really good man 25 years ago. He is a patient, kind, funny, and reliable partner, but something was always off in our marriage. I struggled to stay emotionally connected with him and found myself in cyclical patterns of being close and connected and then pushing him away. It was frustrating and painful for both of us and, as you can imagine, it affected every aspect of our marriage. After seven years, we reached a breaking point, and he mentioned the possibility of separation if things didn’t change. I loved my husband. I knew he was everything I needed and wanted. I truly desired to stay married and continue building a life together, and I really didn’t want to hurt him anymore.
The projection of my unresolved trauma onto others wasn’t contained to just my marriage — it showed up in my motherhood. I tried really hard to be a good mom to our six children. We were a regular family: tired parents and energetic kids, sibling squabbles and soccer practices, afternoons of homework and chores, and playing together in the front yard in the evenings. We created many family traditions and memories that are sacred to me. I loved my kids more than anything in the world, and I loved being a mom, so I couldn’t understand why I was always so angry and why I yelled so much. Now I understand that when the mind and body are full of painful memories and emotions you are trying to avoid, the little inconveniences of life — and, for me, parenting — can become big triggers. Multiply that day after day and year after year, and it’s no wonder I couldn’t keep myself together.
Another significant way my pain showed up in my parenting was in how I micromanaged my daughters and the clothes they wore. I was objectified and hurt by men in the past, so you can bet I was going to make damn sure I did everything in my power to protect my daughters from being hurt. In my mind, it made sense to me that if I made sure they were dressed conservatively and modestly, they wouldn’t be hurt. I didn’t ever explicitly say that to them because it wasn’t even a very conscious thought at the time, but I know from conversations with my now-adult daughters that they adopted some unhealthy beliefs about themselves and their bodies as a result of my hyper-fixation on modesty. I wasn’t the only influence on their body image (hello, social media), but it was an unintended consequence of the choices I made because of my pain. What originally stemmed from love and good intentions ended up creating different problems that my daughters now have to work through. I do not shame myself for this accidental result because I know I was doing the best that I could at the time. All of my children know that I am deeply sorry for my parenting missteps and that I am willing to support them in their individual healing journeys however they may need me to.
The effects of my unhealed trauma eventually became too much for me to bear, and I sought support through therapy and by reading self-help books. I have always been curious about how the mind works, so it was a natural next step to dive into educating myself on my patterns, childhood trauma, and the root of my pain. I desperately wanted to heal myself and my marriage and to be a happier mother, and I was willing to do whatever it required. I made great strides over the course of a few years, especially in my parenting. I truly became a calm parent — something I had always hoped to be and still am to this day. Frequent, consistent journaling helped me clear out negative thoughts and feelings, and I found myself more capable of getting through each day with increased positivity and joy and less taking things out on my kids. What didn’t happen: significant changes in my marriage. For 25 years, I projected my pain onto my husband, and I even lumped him in the same category as my abusers. They were males; he is a male, so that meant (subconsciously) that he was the same as them, and I had to keep myself safe by creating distance between us. Even though I was desperate to heal all of this pain and I was utilizing every resource I could find, I just couldn’t ever seem to create the right combination of resources to help me heal once and for all. Enter Jim.
I started working with Jim to work through a more recent traumatic experience, and after about a year of one-on-one coaching, all of this deep-rooted pain surfaced seemingly out of nowhere and with great intensity. At the same time, I had been hearing about ketamine therapy and the use of psilocybin for depression, anxiety, and PTSD from friends and on social media. They were like buzzwords in my circle of influence, so when I mentioned to Jim that I was going to explore those resources, I was thrilled to learn that he had experience using therapeutic doses to release trauma. I felt deep in my soul that this was going to be incredibly transformative for me. The timing of having heard about these alternative therapies, the abuse trauma resurfacing, and Jim being my coach all intersecting at the same time was a sign to me that I was on the right path. I set a clear intention for myself that this was going to be a transformative experience for me.
The use of psilocybin is illegal where I live, so my husband and I traveled to a different state for this release session. I took a therapeutic dose of psilocybin in the form of a small chocolate square, and the dosage worked well for me. The psilocybin allowed my mind to be open to Jim’s guidance, and, in this open-minded state, Jim walked me through a visualization that involved addressing each of the men from my past that had abused me and giving back to them everything they were responsible for that I had been carrying for decades. At one point in the session, I began having what felt like labor contractions, and I had to use the same breathwork I used when I was actually in labor with my children to manage the pain. I wasn’t surprised that the emotional pain showed up physically in my lower abdomen since the abuse was a wound to my feminine energy and body, but the intensity of the pain did catch me by surprise. After breathing through these “contractions” for a few minutes, Jim suggested that I could hold onto the pain as long as I wanted to. My mind instantly understood — I was still choosing to hold onto the pain and feelings of responsibility, and I could actually choose to let it go. I stopped talking out loud and spoke directly to my body in my mind. “Sarah, you are safe to let this go. It isn’t yours to carry anymore. You are safe. You are safe. You are safe.” I continued with my deep breathing, repeating my new mantra with patience and love for my body until the pain finally purged itself on one deep exhale. I felt a little bit weak and tired, just as if I had given birth, so I rested on the couch until my strength came back. The session concluded, and my husband and I left for our hotel and much-needed sleep.
It has been many months now since my session with Jim, and I can honestly say that I feel transformed. In the past, I would feel very angry, scared, and vulnerable when I would think about these specific traumatic events. Today, I am completely neutral about those experiences, even while writing this. I actually feel peace inside because I know those men don’t have any more power over me. I feel happy because I know that I can stand in my power and use my gift of free will to let go of pain and to create the life and marriage that I want to.
Freedom from pain is possible, and freedom comes through holding on to that spark of courage you feel inside to seek out support and doing whatever may be necessary for your health and healing. For some, it may be working with a life coach or counselor. For others, it may be ketamine therapy or psilocybin. For me, it was a combination of all sorts of things. It took time. It was a messy journey with many layers of learning and unlearning and healing, but it was all worth it, and I say that with confidence and gratitude. I don’t believe there is one magic process that works for everyone. What I do believe is that the right methods and people will show up to assist you when you are ready for them. As proof, you are reading this book right now. Trust that the timing is perfect, and it is time for you to take whatever next step feels right for you on your healing journey. Please keep going. You can’t imagine how beautiful it is on the other side.
~ Name withheld
Be OK with Being Alone
Jim guided me through healing my trauma that started when I was five or six years old, and I can now be OK with being alone.
Before I healed my trauma, people would look at my life and see that I had a good family and good friends. My problems were with feeling alone.
He had a way to guide me about stories I was telling myself and how they kind of grew in the background. I almost died at one point; I tried to kill myself.
Therapy wasn’t working. Psychiatry wasn’t working. Typical mental health services were not helping. Before working with Jim, I didn’t see a future for myself. I was careless with the choices I was making with my life.
I was really struggling when I was 12 to 16 years old. I never told my parents until I almost died. I was hospitalized. After that, I realized I did want to live. It was moments after taking the pills … I started regretting it.
I sought help from Jim. My dad’s friend knew him. We had a consultation. The way he guides, something just clicked. During the first meeting, we talked about stories and figured out what my story was.
What helped me the most was talking about past experiences, good and bad. He helped me untangle the stories, make sense of them and identify the problems (something as small as someone not making eye contact with me) and reframe my perspective to help me say the same, new story.
He was teaching me how to help myself, to help me break the pattern. It felt like a clean slate. I finally had a feeling of hope for the future. I was really, really motivated to accomplish things. I graduated high school early, I’ve written tons of songs on a guitar, and I started a business.
It was a brand-new start. We had moved, too, but the mental and emotional aspects we healed were a blank sheet to work on.
Being able to be alone — not just content but happy — has been essential for me. Jim guides you to fix your own problems. He teaches you skills and tricks to sort things out on your own. Most other mental-health healers, psychiatrists and therapists try to cover up the problem, but he helps you get to the core and helps you fix you. He left me with the skills to fix my own problems as they come.
It's important to hold on to hope. You have to want to get better. You have to take the time. You have to practice. It boils down to making that choice. You have to accept your flaws. You have to be aware of your strengths and weaknesses.
~ Name withheld
No Shame in Asking for Help
Growing up, I was very sensitive and lacked guidance on how to regulate emotions. My mother was very harsh as a child, and my father lacked the experience to help me deal with my emotions.
I was an athlete growing up and highly competitive. After breaking my arm in sixth grade, I was unable to compete for two years ending my swimming career. I lost my confidence and began to unravel, alienating peers with my behavior and performing poorly at school.
This ultimately led to addiction as a means to cope. I began using marijuana, which, through my teenage years, escalated to the use of more drugs, primarily crack cocaine and heroin. I put myself in dangerous situations, experienced overdoses, and got into legal trouble.
As my peers began to go off to college, I was deep in the throes of addiction and had little hope for my future. I was suicidal, depressed, and had very low self-esteem. I had mostly given up on life, and having already been to rehab four times had nearly exhausted my parents.
I was sent to one last rehab against my will, where I met Jim. On Tuesday nights, Jim would come in and do breathing circles, which I thoroughly enjoyed. His spiritual approach and experiences during the breath work opened me up to the idea of something greater than me. Like other addicts, the idea of a higher power was something I struggled with.
After rehab, I relapsed and had been cut off by my family; unexpectedly, I was invited home, where I had a moment of clarity and chose to quit using drugs by my own accord. Upon request, I began meeting with Jim privately where he introduced me to journaling and provided me with spiritual and emotional support.
Under his guidance I began to use journaling to assess and reevaluate my life. This tool gave me insight into the story I had been writing about my life and how to change it. Initially I did not fully understand how it was helping and it took time before I realized the path I was being led down.
I moved home and mostly abandoned the tools Jim gave me. I was still experiencing serious depression and suicidal thoughts, and it wasn’t until I experienced a breakup that I began to reimplement those tools. The pain became so real I re-adopted the tools I had written off. Within a month, I had written 400 pages.
I reached a point where if I wasn’t going to kill myself, then I had no other option than to be optimistic and use the tools given to me. During this process, I was able to integrate the wisdom Jim and other mentors had given me along the way, process trauma, and change the victim story I would tell myself into a story of action.
The two biggest things Jim gave me were the acceptance of a higher power and the tools necessary to change my story when I was ready to. He recognized things within me that I was unaware of, and when it came time to heal, I had what I needed to heal myself.
It has been four years now, and I do not experience depression, anxiety, or suicidal thoughts anymore. I am in touch with my emotions and live life on life’s terms. I have the tools and wisdom to follow my own path and have removed myself from the nihilistic egoic thinking that plagued me in the past. I look at obstacles in my path as opportunities to grow rather than reasons to give up.
I attribute a lot of my healing to Jim; his holistic approach of meditation, self-reflection, and belief in a higher power set me free without the use of medication.
Reach out to people. You can’t do it all alone, or you’ll set yourself up for failure. Find those who have found success in their lives and reach out. Listen to them, no matter how silly you think their advice is. Take action and know that everyone needs a support group. There is no shame in asking for help.
~ Name withheld
There’s Light at the End of the Tunnel
I had anxiety and depression before my dad even passed. I’d had suicidal thoughts before he passed. His passing was the swift kick in the butt I needed to redirect my life and finally be motivated enough to succeed.
I’d been addicted to drugs and partied a lot. After my dad passed, it was the same thing for the next two years as my coping mechanism to numb the feelings of losing a parent too early.
I was in a zone where I didn’t really believe it. I didn’t really know how to grieve. At the time, I kind of lost everything. My process of grief was sitting at home a lot, smoking, and taking antidepressants. I didn’t really know what my purpose was anymore.
I got tired of feeling the way I was feeling. I saw therapists and psychiatrists — I’d done it all to try and feel just a little better. I didn’t want to be directed toward taking antidepressants anymore. I wanted to take charge of my life now. I needed a different voice, not one that said, “Take this medication,” but “Take action!”
Jim helped me heal and navigate. He gave me steps to be a little better every day. I had a long-term goal: to finish my degree in geology and geological engineering.
I graduated from University and am now employed as a geological engineer. I don’t smoke or do drugs. I live an active lifestyle. Jim was a massive part of how I got here over the last few years. He helped me to take action and continue to strive for more. I’ve achieved a lot since I chose to pick a different path for my life and am always wanting more for my life.
I don’t think I would have continued school or had a belief in myself that I was good enough to do that. If I had stayed with certain patterns and mindset, I would have settled for a lot less. I needed something in my life to keep me motivated and to not go back to old patterns. That motivation was the passing of my father and proving to myself I could do anything I put my mind to.
No matter what you’ve been through, don’t give up. One step at a time and a little progress every day goes a long way. Just because you’re in a rough spot now doesn’t mean you’re going to be later. If you are willing to take a step in the right direction and keep that focus, be willing to speak about it and use as many outlets as you must keep you on that path.
Don’t necessarily be shy about talking about it. The moment you decide to deal with trauma and want something better than how that current feeling you have, there’s light at the end of the tunnel.
~ Name withheld
It’s Just a Storm
Jim helped me heal from trauma that led to a debilitating fear of thunderstorms and mistrust of people and life itself.
It might seem minor, even trivial, to some, but I live in an area with lots of storms. I couldn’t bring myself to enjoy them — at all, ever. This is what it was like:
“I’m hiding under my desk,” I told the close friend when I answered his call. He laughed. He knew there were thunderstorms in the area — and was aware of my deep-rooted fear.
What was an independent, otherwise fully functioning 28-year-old doing under her desk at home, still in her suit from her workday? The same thing she’d been doing since she was a small child.
Even the neighbors next to the house where I grew up have a story about me disappearing under their dining-room table during dinner. Lots of people laughed over the years about how I was under the table before the end of the first crack of lightning.
It wasn’t funny to me — but I laughed along to lighten my load and keep them at bay. My guttural fear felt visceral. It lived at the core of my being, and I felt powerless over it deep into my 50s. Even when my daughter was little, she would bring me rocks to make me feel better. I lined them up on the kitchen windowsill. They’re still there, but I don’t need them anymore.
I mentioned my fear of thunderstorms to Jim several years ago. He suggested we heal it through a process he designed. It was unlike any other I’d experienced. He guided me to my two-year-old self. I knew her because my mom had told me about the day my dad unceremoniously picked me up, carried me into the middle of the backyard, set me down on my feet, walked away, and left me there alone — during a thunderstorm. All of that reportedly was over my mom’s objections. He thought it would fix me once and for all.
My mom created the Thunder Fairy. She would put gum and suckers in a cupcake paper and place it between the screen door and the storm door toward the tail end of thunderstorms. It didn’t help. Well, it might have helped a little, but it didn’t erase the fear. The fact that she loved thunderstorms and shared that love with my daughter as they cheered from the screened-in porch or reacted with glee while peering out windows reinforced my belief that I just wasn’t ever going to get over my fear.
Jim walked me through a light meditation, my eyes closed until I was “little me” in the backyard. He asked me what she was thinking and afraid of in those moments in the backyard.
“I’m going to die,” was my first reply. He suggested I consider that two-year-old children don’t yet have that concept or think that way. “I’m alone” was my next reply — and the one that spoke to the core of what had been going on in my body since then.
Jim helped me navigate the stories I’d made up and held as the truth until I arrived at the moment of my life-changing healing: I am not alone. I’m never alone.
Transformations can be tough to believe. I still need to remind family members and friends that I’m really not afraid of thunderstorms anymore. I wish everyone could feel how I feel so they could understand the healing that has left me with a lovely appreciation and healthy respect for thunderstorms, absent even a hint of fear.
I wouldn’t have believed it if I hadn’t experienced it. Healing is possible. It can happen at such a deep level that you can’t even go back there if you try. I can’t even try to be afraid of thunderstorms now. I live in an area where there are lots of big storms. The healing journey Jim took me on completely and permanently transformed my fear.
If you have a fear, it’s likely rooted in trauma. You might not think it’s trauma or that big of a deal, but consider how many hours, days, months, or years of your life have been affected by it. Mention it to people you trust, find a method that feels comfortable to you, and heal.
~ Name withheld
Learn to Love and Care for Yourself
The hate and anger I had — and couldn’t seem to get rid of — started when I was diagnosed with diabetes when I was 15 years old. I lived in a remote area of the Great Plains, and the doctors there were not like doctors in other parts of the country in the late 1990s.
I had been a wrestler in high school, wrestling around the country. Diabetes ruined my life. The diabetes diagnosis was a huge trauma that I let piss me off instead of dealing with it. I had a life-changing illness that took me out of my life and changed me forever. Little did I know it was the path to learning to love myself.
I held the anger for years and passed it away with alcohol. I thought it was how I could feel normal and be the person I wanted to be. But that was a joke. The anger and hate were too much. It was a real problem, and I just kept drinking. I hid behind the alcohol, and it led to a divorce that destroyed me.
It was like my insides were yelling at me to take a drink because it felt like a fire burning that I couldn't put out. My whole body was just raging. Once I put the bottle to my lips and took a drink, I thought it was helping me to put the rage out, but I was just pushing it deeper until the alcohol was gone, then I'd blow up in a rage of anger that would cause a new set of problems.
I had to seek support because either I was going to prison for 25 years — or overcome it to the point where I could be a father to my two sons and still have relationships with friends and family. I was broken. I didn’t know there was a way out. I went through 30 days of treatment that included group sessions with Jim.
When Jim came into the room, I didn’t know how to take him. I had a really bad attitude. I couldn’t see my life without alcohol. I’d used it to cover all those hurts. I threw my head back in my seat and closed my eyes — but I was listening to what he was saying. He started yelling and asking questions, and I was able to answer every one of them.
“I want to shake your hand,” he said. “That was amazing. Keep coming back.”
I didn’t understand where the anger came from and didn’t think he could help me, but I kept going. We did breathing exercises. We talked. I wrote letters to my mistress, alcohol. I learned to love myself. The breathing exercises really helped me. I told Jim I really needed more of his help, and I got 15 more days of treatment. At that point, I still had a lot of anger, but treatment had given me faith. Those extra days made all the difference.
“Keep loving yourself, and you’ll be able to be honest in court and walk away free,” Jim said.
No one in the world would have thought that would happen — and it did. The prosecuting attorney said I couldn’t be the guy they’d made me out to be. Even the defense lawyer said he’d never seen anything like it.
It wasn’t easy. It’s hard when you have to be honest with yourself.
“You’ll get through this,” Jim said. “Understanding will set you free.” It took four years to learn to forgive my ex-wife — she’s my best friend now. I was humbled more than I ever thought I’d be.
There’s a lot more to my story, including my house burning to the ground, a blood clot that required a life flight and 19 stints, followed by a $120,000/year job loss.
“What do I need to do,” I asked myself. “Love myself. Overcome these things.”
I now have a home. I have a car. I have my boys.
I overcame the anger and the hate, and I was like, “This is crazy big, so real. that when you choose to love yourself, the rage is gone, and as you start to love yourself, you then see that it's just you and yourself that you are now with and out of love is when you start to make decisions that are true to you.
That was when I thought, “I'm over it. I don't want, need to, or care to have alcohol in my life ever again. It's destroying the man that I want to be and am able to be.”
It's crazy, but when it all comes together, you can walk away from the addiction. Not that you’re not an addict, but you can make the right decision to walk away from the things that are not of you, or that cause you to follow the addiction, not the man you can be and were created to be. So, it's crazy, but you can overcome it all just by learning to love and care for yourself. It's a blessing in my life today.
~ Name withheld
From Trauma to Acceptance
Jim guided me to help me in healing from sexual abuse by my brother, that I experienced at the age of 12, so as an adult, I could function in a healthier way in my own personal relationships and with my family. But most importantly, in regard to my relationship with myself.
Before I healed my trauma, I was living in a lot of dysfunction and was filled with low self-esteem and many other negative self-reflection. It was like I had a filter in my head and in my vision of the world that I was not aware of. This led me to live many years with limiting and unhealthy patterns and false beliefs about myself.
I sought support because my parents were celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary and my brother was going to be there. I was still in the space of doing what was expected of me in order to not draw any attention toward myself. My parents and that brother (one of five) were the only people in my family who knew about what had happened.
I knew I had to keep up appearances and attend the party. Otherwise, I would face too many questions and judgment from other members of my family about why I was not attending the anniversary party. I began to feel anxiety and panic as it neared closer, and that’s when I decided to see Jim.
Jim helped me work through it so I could attend the celebration and be OK. It was hard, but he made it easy. I always felt safe and supported in his office. His process of pulling information out of me that I had repressed so that I could see it, understand it, and have awareness around it was very powerful. He showed me that who I was (my fears, my anxiety, my personality, and my negative mindset toward myself) had all been formed by coping with a trauma that I was not equipped to handle and that my young self went into survival mode, which continued into adulthood. The most powerful moment during our therapy was unexpected; we were talking as usual, and then, all of a sudden, one day, three months into our sessions, it all came together.
I grasped the awareness of what I’d been through and all the protective measures my mind and body put in place. I really got it — with him showing me how I had developed thoughts and actions and fears and how all of that was related to the past, and how in the present moment of today, my mind and my body were still living in the past.
On the other side of healing my trauma, I felt really hopeful and really relieved. Because before that day, I felt really broken and damaged. After that day, I had a lot of clarity, and I realized I wasn’t those things. I gained that huge awareness.
It has still taken time to unravel everything, but the process has propelled me into healing many aspects of myself relating to the negative effects of the trauma. I can now see myself more as my true, authentic self, have healthier relationships with others, and create boundaries when needed. The way Jim brought me to the awareness, I really saw it, because when you don’t have the awareness, you’re still in denial and confusion. I had a shift in my perspective of myself in a way I couldn’t have by myself, and it was profound.
You are worthy of living a healthy and happy life. Your past does not define you, nor should it be controlling you in your present. You may feel you can’t get through it, or don’t want to go back and remember things from your past, but facing, dealing with, and becoming aware is how to take back your life and stand in your power.
When you’re in the beginning of knowing you need healing, it can be daunting. The important thing is to begin. Whether it’s a big step or a small step, take a step you can commit to. I used to think it was something I could tackle all at once. Recently, I’ve learned that it’s a process. As your life progresses and changes, old patterns and thoughts will rise that were buried. Only now you have the awareness and tools to know how to recognize them and process them more quickly to benefit YOU. You no longer accept an old pattern that hinders and hurts you. You are strong and living in the present and creating a life and future YOU want to live in. You can do it, and you can heal!
~ Name withheld
Healing Into Potential
Jim helped me heal from a childhood of prevalent low self-esteem and anxiety. Social media played a large role in this for me, growing up with it at such an early age. Caught up in comparing myself to things I saw in the media, my sense of self-worth became distorted. When I went to Jim, there was a root problem to uncover and that is what we focused on.
I had been referred to Jim by my parents who both went to him for their healing, as did my sister. The cause for this was because of some of the behavior I was engaged with and how it caught up to me; I wasn’t entirely with the wrong crowd but began to do things like sneaking out and experimenting with substances.
One night, I snuck out, took my dad's car, and was pulled over with a buddy in the passenger seat. Not good. It was past midnight, and I had just turned 16. I was already past a legal curfew, but alcohol came up as well — the officer could smell it. I wasn’t drunk but had been drinking beer within the last 30 minutes. “Yes, drinking, sir … also, there are a couple of beers under the seat.”
This behavior trailed a recovery from a sports-related knee surgery I had gone through earlier in the year, a mentally tough moment in time for me. My reality check came, and clearly, I had some things to figure out.
The core of my story came to be, “I’m not good enough.” Although I tended to feel old for my age, it was hard to wrap my head around this and what it meant. Jim and I started chipping away at the stones around it.
When you’re that young … I wasn’t thinking a ton. He started asking questions about why I was doing stuff, how, yes, but more why. This is when we got to it; I eventually answered one of these questions with, “Because I think I’m not good enough.”
I can’t say I wholly subscribe to the belief of fate or the like, but I felt there was some fate behind my path crossing with Jim’s. A coincidence? Maybe. I didn’t define myself as someone who was traumatized or depressed, but sometimes we don’t even realize those things. I began to accept what I had been through and saw how some behaviors were just a reflection of what was wrong. I saw myself and my story differently once we uncovered what was essentially the thesis statement of that story.
To me, awareness is a big part of the healing process. Sometimes, seeing something from a new perspective can feel like a rebirth. As I accepted myself more, I felt like I also became a more empathetic and sympathetic person to others, which brought additional healing in its own way. Once Jim and I had finished with our initial meetings, we continued to meet and discuss things through a more spiritual lens. This exploration helped me grasp a more advanced understanding of my healing and built more perspective for me — something that has been especially useful in more recent healing.
I don’t know that healing ever stops, kind of like learning. The problems we face and the process to handle them are varied. I think this healing has lasted in part due to the transfer of learning into practice. Not that people should dwell on problems and brood, because that can make you feel worse, but to sit in that state, musing in deep thought and reflection embracing a problem that needs solving can lead me to more actionable steps.
Taking those actionable steps helps us learn. Our thoughts are only sometimes good or useful. Think of yourself as a block of granite, dispelling trauma. Visualize it, and then the version of yourself that hides beneath it. Regardless of that perfectly sculpted Picasso you want, you have to put the work in yourself. You have to take action, but there is hope for a better version of yourself.
In more recent times, I’ve become more aware of additional healing I didn’t know I had needed for so long. One of the grips media had on me as I grew up was the porn I began watching at a young age. Although it’s such a normalized thing, it created problems that have been lying right under my nose, which is probably part of why I wasn’t convinced there was a problem for so long. It blew out of proportion what relationships should look like.
It’s a real addiction, and although I’ve made improvements, the healing doesn’t stop. Problems like these hide and cause us so much distress from right under the nose; sometimes, the most obvious problems aren’t realized until there’s an intervention so that they can be uncovered.
I feel like I’ve become more serious about setting myself up for the future and managing my life as a young adult despite the unique challenges I might come across. I feel that I’m enough, and that helps me focus on improving in a sort of paradoxical way. I like the idea of using the tools and resources around us to make that a reality for myself. I am good enough but can still work on myself — just in a more accepting way.
~ Name withheld